Kraken Mare Nano Spy Bot 2038 V1.4

Mars Underground :: Kraken Mare :: 2038 RA

Kraken Mare Nano Spy Bot 2038 V1.3

Mars Underground :: Kraken Mare :: 2038 RA

Kraken Mare Nano Spy Bot 2038 V1.2

Mars Underground :: Kraken Mare :: 2038 RA

Kraken Mare Nano Spy Bot 2038 V1.1

Mars Underground :: Kraken Mare :: 2038 RA

Diva II

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Ebben? Ne Andrò Lontana" by Alfredo Catalani

Diva III :: Promenade Sentimentale

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

Newly Arranged by Steampunk Baby Dumpling ::

Theme by Éric Satie

Nanda Parbat

In Nanda Parbat, the ancient Tibetan method of sending an encoded message from the mind of the one through the mind of the many is here revealed...

Lost Horizon

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Lost Horizon" by Burt Bacharach

Amun Ra :: Fall of the King

A Prophecy is found in the Sahara ::

The long forgotten language of Ptolemy's machine, the "Organon Parallacticon" in Alexandria ::

"The boy who was murdered now mended, the crownless again shall be King."

The genome of man is unfolding in time ::

Twelve Monkeys are painted on the tomb of the gay boy King Tutankhamun...

Philosophy of Time Travel :: Ch 6 :: The Living Receiver

The Living Receiver is often blessed with Fourth Dimensional Powers ::

These include increased strength, telekinesis, mind control and the ability to conjure fire and water ::

The Living Receiver is often tormented by terrifying dreams, visions and auditory hallucinations during his time within the Tangent Universe ::

Those surrounding the Living Receiver, known as the Manipulated, will fear him and try to destroy him...

Aquariamus :: The Spell of Endless Water

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

Newly Arranged by the Steampunk Baby Dumpling ::
Theme by Camille Saint-Saëns

The Summoning Spell :: Across the 8th Dimension

Caitriona Skye returns to the uninhabited Titan Moon, Elceladus... Declan Guy is missing again from the Titan Moon and from the Mars Underground...

Fearing for the worst scenario on Earth, Caitriona Skye waits for nightfall on the Saturn Moon and enacts a great summoning spell, calling forth an ancient Time Traveler and hero of Earth... across the 8th Dimension!

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Buckaroo Banzai" by Michael Boddicker

Act One :: Gay Girls in Paradise :: Scene One

Gay Girls in Paradise :: Act One ::

Scene One :: A secret, underground naked gay girl Sauna, hidden somewhere in London.... On Endell Street...

Once Upon a Time in the West

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Once Upon a Time in the West" by Ennio Morricone

Mad World

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Mad World" by Michael Andrews

Time War :: Fall of the 11

Mars Underground :: Kraken Mare :: 2038 RA

Omega 13

Mars Underground :: Kraken Mare :: 2038 RA ::

:: Thirteen Seconds Backward in Time ::

The Coming of the Martians :: The Eve of War

But who shall dwell in these worlds if they be inhabited?…

Are we or they Lords of the World?…

And how are all things made for man?—

Kepler -- "The Anatomy of Melancholy"

Steampunk Baby Dumpling :: Titan of Mars

Mars Underground :: Kraken Mare :: 2038 RA

BBC Mars :: Come Dine With Me

BBC Mars :: Steampunk Baby Dumpling, Titan of Mars dines with Emperor Ming the Merciless from the Planet Mongo...

The Hour of the Flower

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

Newly Arranged by the Steampunk Baby Dumpling :: Theme by Achille-Claude Debussy

Sound and Vision

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Sound and Vision" by David Bowie

Beauty and the Bastard

The classic Earth Fairy Tale as told by Steampunk Baby Dumpling..

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

Theme Song by Alan Mencken

Think of Me

Caitriona Skye sings a song from The Phantom of the Opera, as she hangs herself in the Bell Tower of the Paris Opera House for the last time.

The famous Mars Underground Comic plans to escape the weight of her Earthly bonds, enter into the reigns of the Astral Plains and return through the Neutron Time Portal to the uninhabited realms of the Titan Moon, Enceladus, where Declan Guy awaits her in time for cakes and tea in the late afternoon under the setting Sun on the rings of the planet Saturn...

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Think of Me" by Andrew Lloyd Weber

Like a Rolling Stone

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Like a Rolling Stone" by Bob Dylan

Steeldale Local Talk :: Preview Trailer

Steeldale, Alabama :: Local Daily Talk Radio

DJ Host :: Gloch Stiletto ::

Sponsored by Roast Beef "Le Boeuf" Calhoun

Play Me

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Play Me" by Neil Diamond

Sweet Thing

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Sweet Thing" by David Bowie

Five Years

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Five Years" by David Bowie

Soul Love

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Soul Love" by David Bowie


Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Starman" by David Bowie

Ziggy Stardust

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Ziggy Stardust" by David Bowie

Declan Guy and the Chronographic Sky :: Chapter 5

Chapter 5 :: Ludwig II :: The Mad King of Bavaria ::

Ludwig II was King of Bavaria from 1864 until his mysterious disappearance in 1865, when Declan Guy encountered him boating along Swan Lake... Dancing with the Dark King in the midst of a midsummer Bavarian night under the waning and pale moonlight, Declan suggested the Monarch be hereafter known as the Swan King, or der Märchenkönig, the Fairy Tale King.

King Ludwig was very much in love with Declan Guy from the moment he unexpectedly appeared in his court dressed only in the torn bottom half of an O’Neill ”Reactor” Wet Suit...

The King had declared his love for Declan in the heat of the moment, and then ordered all his subjects to abandon their stone and straw houses in the villages surrounding his castles and all go live as free spirits of the woods, running naked and sleeping in Avataresque tree pods for eternity in the generous heart of the warming and welcoming earthy Black Forest.

This was a sweeping romantic and very regal gesture dedicated to Declan Guy, on the night of their vanishing, when the King and the boy drifted down and away on the Rhine River in King Ludwig’s most beautiful and bejeweled, hand carved wooden Swanning Boat.

The lilting, glittering magical fog was ebbing up and wafting through the multitudinous stars twinkling and flickering down from Skywalker Ranch and the George Lucas CGI Studios, where the Industrial Light and Magic teams were working overtime to draw Declan through an unexpected Time Portal and into a new and fantastic, complex, familiar, but surprisingly strange and expensive looking parallel world...

In this universe, the well known Oxford College has a back door through Jordan College and just down the hallway, leading to the courtyard, an impassable metal gate stands outside the students’ dormitories locked tightly, with a great grey iron padlock, blocking all passage away from or coming in through this idyllic 19th Century Steampunk Town in Bavaria...

On this unseasonably sunny summer morning Declan Guy walked directly out through the flickering and sputtering electron entangled quantum fire powered Wonder Wheel and Donnie Darko derivative Time Portal and out onto Wardour Street in SoHo, London, near 64 Old Compton Street, where The Time Travelling teen Surfer from Santa Cruz, California kept a modest (but very expensive to those who can't afford it) single flat on the 3rd Floor exactly for moments like this, when he happened to drop by “Old Blighty” with little or no choice or notice...

Such is the life of a Dark Matter Zonebinder in the 25th and a half Century, that having a pre-rented personal flat in key areas and capitol cities known to be eclectic sweet spots for Chronographic Time Portals always comes in handy.

Declan Guy often wondered whether the Astronomer and particle physicist Ptolemy of Ancient Greece kept extra flats in Ancient Egypt when he visited Hypatia of Alexandria using his secret machine, the Organon Parallacticon, for Time Travel.

This area was prone to Time Map Pathways and Gates uploading now and then with full throttle singularities, and the commercial shop on the street level below the apartment, was known as “The Dark Matter Zone” as well, for the benefit of any Time Guides or Time Tourists traveling without maps, Time Apps or Dark Matter Zonebinder friends.

This shop sold Chronographic Sky Maps, and Declan was curious whether he might find the current map he had designed himself, recently, before he was separated from Steampunk Baby Dumpling on the Island Kyle of Lochalsh in Scotland a few days before he met Ludwig II, the Mad King of Bavaria...

In fact, it was at this precise moment, Declan began to wonder aloud to himself about his previous meeting with King James of Scotland in his castle, and that unexpected guest, Matthew Hopkins, the WitchFinder General, in the Dark Tower...And here, Dear Reader, Declan Guy opened the door to his flat and set the keys down on the kitchen counter near the fresh fruit basket left a few hours earlier by the boys from the “Dark Matter Zone” shop downstairs...

Declan stared out the window, overlooking Compton’s of Soho, the pub across the street. The clang clang of brutal beer barrels bouncing off the cobblestones in the street jarred Deck’s mind a bit adding a moment of clarity and insight to a moment when Declan suddenly and unexpectedly entered a "Wrinkle in Time" without the benefit of Oprah Winfrey as guide.

Declan closed his right eye and held his right hand over his open left eye in the obverse direction to his left hand held out into the air. From a distance, he heard Steampunk Baby Dumpling’s voice singing the “Inception Song” they had chosen together for this Solar Year...”The Thomas Crown Affair...”

And Declan Guy unwittingly recited the words Steampunk Baby Dumpling implanted along the associative neural pathways linked to this particular melody just as the song began to play somewhere deep in the back of his mind...”

“Like a clock whose hands are spinning past the minutes on its face, the Earth is just a apple whirling silently in space, like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind.”

And a landscape appeared in Deck‘s mind’s eye. He was standing in a field of orange Windmills and tulips. He turned to the nearest Windmill and the door flung open, and the Steampunk Baby Dumpling smiled in the sun, laughing ecstatically together, the boys’ warm embrace was a shared astral vision but real enough to satisfy a telepath and a Time Traveler..”

”Deck, you are so lost!” Steam could hardly contain his convulsive laughter and misguided Mr. Spock like illogical love for his best friend.

”The song was a SyncLok you sent!” Declan tried to remember the song and the events at the Scottish Island, but found he could not recall anything at all. “I don’t remember the castle and I don’t know how I met the Swan King. If you hadn’t raised the “Inception” Emergency Protocol, I don’t know how I could have found you.” Declan knew all to well the separation of a Zonebinder and his Time Hacker Tracker usually lead to one way Portals, and none of those lead to home.

”Something bad happened with that book, Deck. You disappeared for the longest time.. Caitriona is here on the “Belle Sauvage” with me and we’re heading to Earth from Mars to find you.”

”La Belle Sauvage... I remember that ship from a dream I had last night. It’s a blue AeroShip. And I remember a book you were drawing some Runes, I think they were Elven or Fairy..” Deck was glad to see Steam was comfortable in this earthlike setting for their meeting like two temporal time patched Vulcan Mind Melds.

Steam frequently said he was accustomed to living in the crystal caves in the Mars Underground, deep beneath the Olympus Mons Volcano, that had buried civilization on Mars 5 miles below the surface of the planet,(Hint: Read the first three chapters... eh, stupid?) but Declan always believed Steam preferred to wander with him in the forests, the lochs and the lakes on Earth, like ones they'd visited in Amsterdam and Cumbria.

“We may need to go after the Malleus Maleficarum Book, sooner than we know... The Frequency of Magic needs to be checked before we open our first Acorn on the Thamesdown!” Steam smiled wickedly...

”The Book of Dirt?” Declan laughed convulsively..."We're taking a bus on the next adventure?"
Declan looked into Steam's eyes directly, which is a rare trick, when your friend is as brilliant and as telepathic as Steampunk Baby Dumpling.

Steam’s eyes gleamed like two Black Cab headlights after a dozen pints in a row.

”We’re doing the “Book of Dirt” again?” Declan’s favourite adventure was about to begin again...

Oh, do figure it out, by this time, Dear Reader... Take a moment to think, when you have a moment to spare in between taking pictures of yourself in the mirror...When you travel in time long enough, and often enough, things begin to happen in spirals and spheres, and time tends to loop with no beginning and no end in sight... This explains Declan Guy's uncanny ability to dream events and images coming from ahead in the future occurring on the next day....Got it yet? ... Eh,stupid?

Call me if you're confused and I'll put you on hold until you figure it out for yourself anyway.

“This is better than the Scottish Play and those three witches, but what about History, Steam? Do we have to back in time before we go back to the future?”

“We can press on after the first Acorn opens tomorrow morning.” Steam put his hand on Declan’s shoulder as they both began to fade from the shared Astral projection. “We’ll need to monitor the Frequency of Magic, to make sure the evil Matthew Hopkins wroughts against the Earth extends no further than prior to our entanglement in Caitriona’s time line...”

“And probably we should get that book back..” Declan laughed and looked sheepish, which came to him easily after spending so much time asleep in a Scottish Highland. “I mean, you always said it was the root cause of all evil on Earth, when I first met you...” Declan almost sounded serious for a moment, but Steampunk Baby Dumpling could recognise sarcasm in a Sea of Emperor Ming of Planet Mongo’s Pure Fire...

”I said the “Book” will ”end“ being the root cause of all evil on Earth, Deck... This is only our beginning, and a much better one than we could have hoped for considering our circumstances.. This isn’t Charles Dicken’s day anymore, and Cyberpunk isn’t as popular as it would have been if so many people hadn’t died in HG Wells’ Atomic Wars between Earth and Mars.”

“What about the magic though, Steam?"

Declan and Steam were almost transparent now. The emotion fueling the Astral Projection was fading into the ether as it once existed on Earth in the 17th Century...So Steam and Declan shook hands tenderly as they began to move toward going their separate ways for now...

”Don’t worry about that..” Steam couldn’t recall if he was asleep in his body and dreaming this meeting or if he set an Astral Field Projector Ring or a Babylon Candle up in his room on the “Belle Sauvage” where he and Caitrions Skye were hurtling at all speed toward the Earth and a rendezvous with Declan Guy in his corporeal body...

”I have contacts with Industrial Light and Magic. I imagine there may be a fire sale on magic now that “Pottery Boy” is less in fashion with the LPunks who all threw away their parents enslaving cell phones into the Dustbins of history... Let’s just hope “La Belle Sauvage” holds out for the length of a bible, at this rate... Everything is so slow now...Look how we’re fading away...It’s taking forever.. And when Caitriona Skye and I were searching the Earth for you earlier, in Saigon City, the dream recorder came out at half speed! You had to play it at 2X speed to hear it properly...The Time is out of joint... Ever since the Neutron Star collision I cannot pick up a perfect Time Sync...We’ll be playing the “Book of Dirt” live as we go along. You like it like that anyway, don't you Declan?”

Steampunk Baby Dumpling disappeared from the field of Windmills, but Declan was fairly certain Steam’s telepathic ability would allow him to hear his last line in this scene.

”All I ever ask for is an unwritten life, Steam... You know that’s my secret dream...”

Declan faded away now as well. That was probably the longest and most boring recorded conversation in an Astral Projection since Harry Potter met Dumbledore at King’s Cross Station...

”I forgot to ask Steam if we’re meeting at "The Coach and Horses" or "The Spice of Life" in SoHo...” Declan thought to himself at the last minute...”Gosh, darn it!”

Declan was fairly certain Steam was reading his thoughts at the moment.. and to be honest, Dear Reader, the Steampunk Baby Dumpling was doing that, and a whole lot more, as well...

Declan Guy and the Chronographic Sky :: Chapter 4

Chapter 4 :: “An Accident in Time” (or “Mad About the Boy”)

Steampunk Baby Dumpling wakes up in the middle of the night, aboard the Chronographic AeroShip "La Belle Sauvage" and wanders down the twisting passageways to the dark and empty main Cocktail Lounge on the spacious Sky Cruiser…

Steampunk finds a small Holografix display of Noel Coward, singing an old song from the gay Stephan Elliott film "Easy Virtue" now playing on Netflix, which makes the Martian Boy consider the rumor he's heard that Declan Guy, his best friend on Earth, now lost in time, has gone missing and is clearly lost, between two parallel worlds...

Caitriona Skye has told Steampunk she heard Declan was no longer living in Olde Saigon City, but rather, he was working at a pub called "The Trout" along the river Thames near Oxford College and the town of Zodstow...

And as the Steampunk Baby Dumpling finds himself seated restlessly at a bench by the dark mahogany Grand Piano, in the abandoned late night Lounge on the luxurious AeroShip hurtling down the Blue Aurora Borealis Way, from the Planet Mars toward the Earth, he begins to tinker with the glistening, white ivory keys of the vintage musical instrument, and his small, but confident fingers slowly find their way to sketching out fond memories of Declan, in words and music, expressing the distant happy times they never spent together, other than in their dreams, so many years apart, between the Earth and the Planet presided over by the Official God of War in the Galaxy --- ...mars…

In an empty piano bar, in an AeroShip, traveling through gravitational ripples and waves in time and space, in the middle of the night…

Steam considers launching another trillion Mars Nano Spy Bots into the Internet on Earth via Satellite, to expand his search for Declan northward and all the way up to Scotland, before settling into a quiet, but steady sad twinkling of the keys on the piano, setting the audio alarms in the Bar on just this side of the edge of alerting the crew of the ship to the presence of an intruder...

When the music was over, Steam noticed a soft warning light, a steady glowing red-orange LED on the piano key of E flat...

"Caitriona!," shouted Steampunk up the grand staircase and into Caitriona Skye's master bedroom overlooking Jupiter and some various stars....

"Ahh, you woke me up, you little bastard!" responded Caitriona, in a shrill but still whispered tone from the starry balcony hovering above the glass bottomed piano lounge, under looking the Milky Way...
"What is it now? Are you hungry for your egg, bacon, sausage and mushroom already?" Caitriona inquired wistfully from the upper room... She knew Steampunk looked forward to his first breakfast at Farmer Brown's Cafe in Covent Garden, whenever they visited the Earth and were near London.

"No," intoned Steampunk Baby Dumpling, "Cai, you know, I don't need to look at a clock to know the time, as my own personal Time Circuits are based on the Flux Capacitor from the Earth Documentary, "Back to the Future," so you can believe me when I say, I think we may be riding on the crest of a Neutron Star Collision and a few SpaceTime wrinkling gravity waves."

"I think it may just be bad memories of this area in Space," Caitriona mumbled only just loud enough for Steam to hear her through the ship's inter quarter intercom. "You were probably here before in some Off World Colony when you were first sent off into space from Tyrell's docking system."

Steampunk did not like being reminded that he was a Replicant, and especially not by a girl, who was a replicant, as well.

"You don't need to remind me of that," Steam said aloud. "No one likes to bring back their memory implants from so many years living as a slave in the Colonies. Let's focus on finding Declan now, and try not to talk about memory implants."

"What do you mean?" Caitriona sounded perplexed. "Do you mean not even the good memories we bought from Rachel and Rick Deckard's daughter?"

"Yes, not even the good ones from the Blade Runner's family heirlooms themselves." Steam was intent on making his point now, before Caitriona drifted off back into hyper sleep. "If this new adventure is gong to be as derivative as our previous experiences with 'Stranger Things' and those 'Once Upon a Time' Earthling Story Arcs, we may as well begin to keep our own records regarding our search for Declan in our own book..."

What kind of book?" Caitriona was clearly not interested in Steampunk's absurdist view of abstract literary qualities in high production, low intellectual value theories of streaming entertainment on Earth in the 21st Century. A time period Steam had been studying with great interest and envious eyes, from the Mars Underground in the 25th and a half century.

"Well," and Steam's tone trailed down until it seemed he may be talking or even thinking aloud to himself or the ship's computer rather than his close and dear personal friend, famous galaxy wide Titan Moon Comic Caitriona Skye.

"I guess we could use this old blank journal I found belonging to Phileas Fogg, the man who used this Time Machine we're in now to travel around the world in 80 days for Jules Verne, the scientist in Paris in the late 19th Century."

"Do you mean 'Phineas Fogg'?" Caitriona barely got the whisper before a great void of a yawn escaped her grand Celtic red lips. "Who's Phileas? I read the article in the London Times by Jules Verne and he said the man's name was 'Phineas'...Ya' know... ya' little bastard." Caitriona was really trailing off now and frequently ended her conversations with Steampunk with a clear reminder she knew that Irene and Roger, Steampunk's Radio show parents were not his real parents at all, and in fact, for that matter, neither of the Replicants had parents, unless you consider Tyrell and his corporation a sort of nurturing environment.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter." Steam derided Caitriona when she made personal remarks and always changed the subject to a subject of greater portent from the future. "I found this filthy book and this 'Acorn' in the Captain's Cabin and I imagine we should record this journey in the book, try to get this 'Acorn' open to look for a clue on what to do first to find Declan on Earth."

"Why would the first clue be inside an 'Acorn?'" Caitriona knew the answer to this question, but she was contractually obligated to ask certain questions to move the adventure along without constantly pausing to question the existential nature of reality as in every basic absurdist drama of the 20th century on Earth like Eugene Ionesco or Gene Wilder.

"Declan Guy was traveling with a copy of the book 'Malleus Maleficarum' in his back left pocket, which he lined with the earthly metal 'lead' to protect his Zonebinding ability from the books potent magic, but now he's gone missing in SpaceTime, since 'Chapter 3, the Organon Parallaction' so you and I should be more careful in our choice of reading material, so we don't get blown off course."

"Of course..." echoed Caitriona...She was clearly no longer paying attention at all now...

"We shall christen this book, 'The Book of Dirt' and record every magical moment of our journey in SpaceTime in our search for Declan Guy, in the hope of selling it on later as a feature film for Disney or more likely Netflix. If we don't find Declan soon, his dreaded Foe, Matthew Hopkins, the Witch Finder General, living now in 1617 in King James' castle in Scotland, may catch up with him using magic himself and take away the book leaving Declan lost somewhere in the Earth's past."

"The Book of Dirt. I like that." Caitriona was talking in her sleep now.

"Yes...yes... yes..." Steampunk Baby Dumpling began writing ancient Fairy Runes into the book and the 'acorn' rolled back and forth across the Pianoforte, in the rhythm of the gentle ripples of the enormous gravity waves from the recent local Neutron Star collisions, which set off this accident in Time with heavy aftershocks in synchronicity and meaning now lapping up against the atmosphere of Planet Earth, regarded from Mars with the cool intellect of Steampunk Baby Dumpling and Caitriona Skye's envious eyes."

Caitriona turned over on her back and stared up through the Skylight into the vast Milky Way. She remembered she had drank a Quadripple shot of expressive coffees at the Star Wars Cantina in the Mars Underground George Lucas Theme Park before she and the Dumpling left their adopted planet for Earth.
"What about this song you're playing on the piano, Steam."

"What about it?" Steam called back but was really busy now writing line after line of iambic poetry into the new "Book of Dirt' layed out over the piano casing now in the candlelight to make it easier for Steampunk's Daemon to read. Steam's Daemon was 'Winnie, the Pooh' at the moment, so the more light made it all the easier for the fictional bear to see in the dark cabaret of a room, but since Steampunk was still an innocent child, his Daemon could change shape and even the spelling of the word 'Daemon' at any time.

"Well, it's a bit gay, don't you think?" questioned Caitriona, striking the first serious tone in the conversation since the two friends had set off alone in this Time Machine in their quest to locate Declan Guy, "the boy whose picture is on the cover of the book".

"Ah, well," Steampunk Baby Dumpling responded thoughtfully, scanning the cultural and collective cognitive imperatives associated with the Planet Earth fully for the first time since leaving Mars, Steam sighed and loosened the end of a counterweighted rope tied to the piano bench and leading up the grand staircase to a great mast hovering above the AeroShip spinning through the star tunnel at close to the speed of light. "Hoist the colors...." Steam began to drift off to sleep himself now, and forgot what Caitriona was even talking about, assuming he had heard her in the first place, which if Declan Guy was here rather than still lost at the moment--- Declan Guy would say neither Steam nor Caitriona had any idea what they were talking about whatsoever...

And a bold black Jolly Roger shot up to the tip top of the mast as if George Lucas himself had allowed his Industrial Light and Magic division of Lucas Ranch to do the Visual Effects for this graphic novel in their spare time for free, as neither the now heavily sleeping Caitriona Skye, nor the Steampunk Baby Dumpling, from Mars Underground, could afford the luxury of really top quality Magic from the Northern California special effects department and so certainly a trip to Hollywood may be in store for our intrepid duo, hopefully long before the "Book of Dust" or some other challenger of great fantastic adventures can beat them to the pitch for grinding this rant into a real screenplay.

Oddly, the full nature of this extraordinary quest was dreamt out in full by none other than Declan Guy, last night... And wherever he was at the moment... He knew exactly what was going to happen... one day in advance....

About an hour went by with not a sound emanating from the Chronographic SpaceTime AeroShip, "La Belle Sauvage" other than the Hum Hum Humming of the Engines of Dream that powered the vessel from the Portal of Pure Imagination. But Caitriona was anything other than a sound sleeper. In fact, many people who knew her said they were under the impression she hardly ever or never slept at all, other than in suspended animation after a heavy round of drinking Romulan Ale in the Star Wars Cantina in the Mars Underground Theme Park.

Still, she alway had the theatrical zeal to pretend she was asleep before bounding out of bed with yet another startling revelation about the mysteries that lay ahead on the distant side of the Mars Orbit in the Solar System. In this particular case, she woke up the Steampunk with the startling sound of a steam powered movie projector.

"Steam," Caitriona turned up the volume on the heavily borrowed Clockwork like soundtrack booming around the cavernous ship now waking Baby Dumpling from his doze inside the grand piano where he lay sprawled out across the strings of the Baby Grand like a tightly pulled metal hammock with the piano hammers ready at any moment to strike at the poor Steampunk's feet.

"Now what?" Steam rubbed his eyes on purpose like the fairies in the film 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' shot in the 1920's through so much gauze, nobody realized they were actually real fairies in Culver City, California behind the old MGM studios, where the Wizard of Oz would be filmed a few years afterwards.

"Steam, I just got the joke... 'The Book of Dirt' is a gay thing. It's a gay joke, right? 'Dirt' is a common word in the old 20th Century Fox Gay slang dictionary, right?" Caitriona was seriously interesting in expanding her knowledge of gay culture for the purpose of being included in the narrative of this book enough that she might be allowed to portray herself in the upcoming Big Screen version of this graphic novel, that actually started on iTunes but then became a world wide phenomena, once people began to notice the book was being posted backwards in time, proving Declan Guy was a real person, and the characters in the book who were searching for him, were real as well.

"I guess so... I don't know for sure...Probably ask Declan. He knows more about it than I do and it was his idea, anyway." Steam turned over into the third octave below middle C and struck a minor chord.

"You've talked to Declan?" Caitriona was puzzled and not faking it now, as you may suspect she does fake a lot of emotions most of the time, being a famous jaded comic and all, and you would be right about that. "How could that be? How can you talk to Declan when we don't know where he's gone?"

"I'm a telepath and Declan has clairvoyant dreams, like Phillip K. Dick, the guy who wrote the original book Blade Runner... Seriously, Caitriona, did you not even read Chapters One to Three in the beginning of this book?"

"Well, let's change the subject," Caitriona looked off into the distant stars again. "What's Deja Vu? I remember dreaming this moment exactly as it happened now. The various elements unrelated suddenly seem whole and I recall knowing this moment as it is now suddenly for a moment in the distant past."

"Right, exactly, yes." Steam pointed to the stars. "That's what Declan does, but it lasts all night for as long as he's asleep and I can tune to Declan's memory when the stars are aligned to a standard parallactic. You should read Chapters One to Three when you get the chance. It's the prequel to the "Book of Dirt" and it's hard to understand the story arc without it."

"So the Story Arc is a gay joke running in parallel to the collective cognitive imperative of the universal consciousness on Earth as reflected in the Internet creating a tension between reality and a world of parallel worlds moving through pure imagination drawing a largely absurd and satirical view of life on Earth making the entire planet the butt of a bad joke from the point of view of a jaded comic and a brilliant boy with special powers living in the Mars Underground?" Caitriona was now incredual that Steampunk Baby Dumpling designed the overarching structure of this -- "The Book of Dirt."

"Exactly so." Steampunk was pleased with himself. "Except there's no such word as 'incredual'..."

"Well, I didn't say that word. That word was in the narrative and not my line." Caitriona looked suspiciously around the ship's lounge and down the dark hallway... "I thought we were alone here."

"We need to study the 'Saigon City' expedition, before we land on Earth again tomorrow, Cai.
Something about those tapes doesn't seem right, as well. They seem to be recorded at half the speed of Time on Earth and only seem normal when played back at 2X speed. We may need to calculate coming out of Light Speed and Hyperdrive differently to avoid the same catastrophe if we're going to find Declan somewhere in time, tomorrow."

"Ok...."Scanning for Declan Guy." The undercurrent of Time is entirely wrong. We look for the fundamental error in the morning." Caitriona seemed suddenly able to comprehend the big picture, for the first time since she stopped smoking pot in the 9th grade on the Titan Moon, in that school run by the Spanish Inquisition.

"Yes, the colliding of the Neutron Stars caused a ripple effect both backwards and forwards in time, but the cresting of the actual wave can only occur just afterwards creating a peak period for parallel worlds to really collide in the weeks and months that follow the event." Steam opened 'The Book of Dirt' and pointed to a drawing on page one, "See, I drew this 'Acorn' on page one and tomorrow we open it and read the first clue."

"What a beautiful 'Acorn', Steampunk. I shouldn't overthink this then, you have everything under control." Caitriona had never seen an 'Acorn' on the Titan Moon, when she was growing up because there were no plant lives nor animal lives on the Moon ever, as it was entirely uninhabited.

"Right. You're mostly here because you're colorful, funny, my best friend and in your younger days, when you were just growing up, you were accidentally transported backward in to Earth's history and captured by Matthew Hopkins, the Witch Finder General in 1617 and sentenced to burn at the stake by the Spanish Inquisition with no hope of rescue other than by divine intervention or a Time Traveling hero like Declan Guy who was supposed to rescue you in Chapter 4, but has since mysteriously disappeared."

Having said all that in one sentence, Steampunk Baby Dumpling, realized Caitriona Skye had more empathy than he did as she was a Nexus 7 and he was a Nexus 6, and now, looking at Caitriona's expression, he wished he hadn't mentioned any of her childhood memories at all, be they real or be they implants.

"Ok. I'm going to try a Vulcan Mind Meld with Declan then, in my dreams. I used to do that with my best friend in High School, and I think it may have worked once or twice, so I think that will help me to sleep along with a small hotel style bottle of Single Malt Whiskey I found from the Isle of Skye in Phineas Fogg's underwear drawer in the Captain's Quarters."

"It's Phileas, in this world. We're going through a parallel world right now and the name just changes from one world to the next. There are slight changes when you pass from one parallel universe into another and most people can't recognize or remember them. In our world the Jules Verne story was about Phineas Fogg, but in this world his name has always been Phileas..."

At this point, Caitriona Skye fainted dead away and passed out on the couch, without bumping her head on anything hard or dangerous. She barely missed falling directly through a plate glass coffee table by only a few inches.

Steampunk Baby Dumpling thought that would happen and he turned over once again two more octaves downward below middle C and fell fast asleep in the Grand Piano Case, dreaming of Declan Guy and readying himself for a briefing for a descent into hell.

Steampunk Baby Dumpling was only a boy and Caitriona Skye was a bit taller woman, but oddly enough, though not part of this story tonight, there was one day in the not too distant past of both these Time Travelers' lives, when they were oddly, exactly the same age... But that's another chapter entirely...

End of Chapter Four ::

Declan Guy and the Chronographic Sky ::

Chapter 4 :: "An Accident in Time" ::

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Mad About the Boy" by Noel Coward

Steampunk’s Red Alert :: The Inception Protocol

Steampunk Baby Dumpling activates the “Inception” emergency protocol to locate Declan Guy on Earth as “LaBelle Sauvage” deftly pilots itself and Caitriona Skye toward Earth from Mars...

Prior to this Adventure, Steampunk Baby Dumpling had hypnotized Declan Guy to react to these melodic factors along a Neural Pathway where the Steampunk could contact Declan on a mutual Astral plane, and thusly, draw his friend safely out of danger...

Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

Theme from "A Thomas Crown Affair" by Alan Bergman


Musique Mécanique par le Théâtre Électrique ::

"Time" by Pink Floyd

iTunes ::

Gay Girls in Paradise

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Roald Dahl Plass :: Cardiff :: CF10, Wales, United Kingdom